Addiction

“A case study of the effects
of psychotropic substances
on grown-up middle-aged men”
by William Wordsworth.

That one will eat you
from inside out
reversing you like an
old holed sock
excavating your cheeks
defeating your age.
That one will instead
slowly make you its
own,
glowing in a singing swan
grasping your head like an
old deadly hag.
It swallows you up the same way as
it took in you its domain.
That one will teach you
it’s better not to
overdo, not to overdose,
if your mind cannot charge anymore
the path of your own, personal thought
– your proactivity –
in horror vacui slammed out.

The only one I know
though
has a liver and a heart
two lungs-wings
a fucking hot tongue.
What should I do when
already now I want the then?
Tell me the cure, give me the potion,
the secret ingredient that can
give me my candor back.

I feel safe in your fish eye
in the time you can’t define
I get joy out of denying
how dirty,
dirty rainbow am I.

Million faces blue
and my love, away,
the same colour too.

Addiction.
What I cause
What I accuse.

 

 

My funny torment

Me eating an apple, Still life in motion. Me watching you, Sturm und drang of the 21st century. Feeling like burning inside while acting a perfect cold manner. I don’t wear anything but a too large T-shirt, you don’t wear anything but me, and it fits you perfectly. The music is surrounding, drives your hands on my hips, my feet can’t touch the ground anymore. It makes me feel masochistic, you having me, you knowing it. My hair surround your fist that gently throws my back back, my spine arched in a smile, pushed me far yet closer to you. I can just feel the breeze of yours, breathe blowing on my shoulder, emotional drops flowing. I am a stretched sheet close to tear, two massive forces I could just put together, to which surrendering, intact.

The lightness of being me (A candle holder)

I give you my spine
Oh, so divine
in the falling day
reminding the gates
I dare a gun
pointed at you
only to feel the fun
of beating the truth.
A stop-motion capture
for this lonely rapture
Breaking the law
of Mother, that haw
Thrilling restraints
for all the cocaine
for all the pills
down the hills.
Please make a sound
the magnet inverted,
now am assertive.

I crash on you like (L’hostage)

I crash on you like porcelain
on the ground. I fall to pieces,
each of them with a story to tell.
Where to begin?
The monster with hundreds eyes?
The meal I ate yesterday?
A carillon plays in my head,
constantly, repeatedly.
I lose myself in it
I lose myself in you.
Magical mantra
Tangible tantra.
And then you take me down to Earth, and
I can just feel alien to the earth
you want to share.
And then I close my eyes
And the only thing I can see
is the light pale through my skin.
I crash on you like a car crash dummy on the dashboard:
low damage, epic impact.